11:59
by TiredOfBeingNice
Summary: "Did you know that this is supposed to be our last Christmas?" Benny asks, quietly stirring the drowning marshmallows into his hot chocolate. "They say the world is going to end in 2017." Or the one where Benny deals with an eventual loss and has to come up with an answer to an un-answerable question (Benny/Ethan — platonically or romantically, depending on how you see it).


~* 11:59 *~

~* TiredOfBeingNice *~

~* 2016 *~

* * *

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _25/12/16; 11:55 PM_

 _R u still coming over? Parents r out of the house and we can do something fun (hint: 'something' rhymes with gideo vames) (u dirty-minded bastard) (plus I have a surprise for u...I suppose I should've said that first)_

…

 _25/12/16_

"Did you know that this is supposed to be our last Christmas?" Benny asks, quietly stirring the drowning marshmallows into his hot chocolate. "They say the world is going to end in 2017."

Ethan smiles softly, not looking up from the paper in his hands. "I am only going to be gone for a week."

Benny scoffs, sipping his drink. "Yeah, you'll be gone for a week. Then when you come back, it's packed bags and goodbye letters as you go off to fucking America."

"America isn't that bad, B," Ethan chuckles. "I don't even know if I am going to go back to America after this trip, you know."

"I highly doubt it," Benny retorts. "You were always smarter than me. I don't know why I'm surprised that you got into your dream university — the most prestigious one in North America."

Ethan blushes and drops the acceptance letter on his lap. "It's not even that nice. I heard that the accommodation is terrible."

Benny rolls his eyes. "Bullshit. No place has worse accommodation than Whitechapel. No wonder you are so desperate to leave."

Ethan shakes his head. "I'm just going to visit the campus with the family, and we'll be back before Sunday afternoon."

"I literally won't see you until next year," Benny pouts. Ethan laughs.

"Don't tell me that will be your New Year's joke."

"It's a step from 'I haven't ate since last year', don't you think?"

Ethan leans back, smiling. "God, I wish I can just pack you in my suitcase and bring you with me."

Benny bites back smirk. "No, thanks. I wouldn't want to spend all my time with smart nerds who know what they're doing."

"Now don't say that, B," Ethan says, scooting closer to him on the couch. "I told you, if you would've applied, you would've got in too. You're really good at this kind of stuff, and you are a nerd who knows what they're doing."

Benny shakes his head with a small smile. "Can't leave Grandma, you know. Besides, studying music here is probably the best thing for me. Like I said, you were always smarter than me."

They sit around Ethan's fireplace in silence and Benny looks at the clock.

"It's noon," he points out, prompting Ethan's attention. "Don't you need to start packing? When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning," Ethan replies. "We want to dodge the Boxing Day mayhem. Hopefully we can make our escape peacefully without random articles of low-price clothing being thrown at us."

Benny laughs. "Well you should start packing — Harvard doesn't accept procrastinators, you know."

* * *

They go upstairs to Ethan's room for the remainder of the day, laughing and playing video games like they used to do. Benny tries to make it unnoticeable, but Ethan's sudden playfulness towards him was driving him crazy.

"Bet you can't beat that, B," Ethan teases, playfully punching his shoulder with a smug smile. "It would take you until the New Year to get a score like that in such little time."

Benny masks his flushed cheeks with an eye roll. "Puh-lease. I can do all of that in less than a minute."

As Benny sets up the level (at an intensity even he knows he can't beat), Ethan looks at his packed suitcase, which was sitting in the corner of his room.

"Do you have any plans for New Year's?" Ethan asks casually. "I mean, I am pretty sure Harvard is having some New Year's event for all the visitors, which will probably consist of listing all these unrealistic standards we have to follow after making it in."

Benny chuckles. "Not sure. I heard Grandma's going to some Earth Priestess gathering. She is leaving on the 27th to God knows where — I swear that these 'gatherings' are actually just wild parties where they trash-talk about other people and get drunk."

"Probably," Ethan replies. "That sounds like something your grandma would do, actually."

Benny laughs even harder, which makes him lose the game. Ethan cheers loudly, and Benny looks at him in an awestruck stupor.

He looks so _proud._ All his dreams are coming true within the first semester of senior year. He was going to his dream school, and has already mentioned meeting a nice girl at school who was going to Harvard as well.

He seemingly had his whole future in front of him, when Benny had rocks and pebbles that were barely making a visible path.

"Are you okay?" Ethan asks, snapping him out of his thoughts. Benny looks at him and then catches glimpse of the time on the clock.

"It's midnight," he says, somewhat dumbfounded. "I have to go."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"It _is_ tomorrow."

Ethan rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

Silence.

"Have a good trip, E," Benny says quietly as he stands up. "I'll see you when you come back, okay? Make sure you at least have some fun for me."

Ethan nods, still sitting on the bed. "Okay then. I'll...I'll text you, yeah?"

"Yeah," Benny echoes and picks up his bag.

Benny makes his way out before Ethan stops him.

"Hey Benny?" He turns around and watches Ethan grin.

"Don't act glum, 'kay?" he says. "I'm sure you can survive a week without me, right?"

Benny manages a tired smile. "It's getting late, Ethan. Have a good trip, okay?"

Ethan opens his mouth to say something else, but closes it when he watches the door close. He looks at the 'game over' screen on his TV and takes a breath — tomorrow's another day.

* * *

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _26/12/16; 10:31 AM_

 _About to board the plane! Too bad u didn't pick up the phone so we can chat a bit before I leave, but I guess that's my fault — it's not like u would be up this early on Christmas break anyway :P_

…

 _26/12/16_

"So you're having a midlife crisis and you couldn't sleep because of it," Sarah says.

Benny sips his coffee. "Yes."

"And you called me?"

"Yes."

Sarah looks at him incredulously. "Benny, I am an immortal vampire. I have a midlife crisis every single day."

"That's not a midlife crisis—"

"Shut up," Sarah moans, rolling her eyes. "What I am trying to say is that life crises aren't really my forte, you know."

"I'm not asking you because you are good at solving midlife crises," Benny replies. "I'm asking you because you are my friend."

Sarah sighs. "Okay, so explain your issue."

Benny takes a breath, thinking of a logical way to explain himself. He puts his coffee cup down on the table and leans back.

"Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that someone close to me has a clear plan on where they are going; life-wise, you know? They have a clear plan on what they want to do with their life. However, if they want to follow this plan...it would mean they would have to leave me behind, even if neither of us want to."

Sarah stares at Benny wordlessly and clears her throat. "Well that is some predicament you have there, Benny. I honestly don't know what to say."

"Yeah, I know," Benny answers sadly. "I wish I knew what to do. I — hypothetically speaking, of course — don't want them to leave."

Sarah's phone buzzes and she looks at Benny apologetically. He shakes his head, and Sarah quickly picks it up and takes the call.

"Hello?" she asks, and Benny stares at the coffee cup in front of him. His mind immediately went to Ethan — he wonders what he might be doing right now.

Before he knows it, Sarah puts her phone down on the table. He looks up and she beams at him.

"It was Erica," she explains. "She's inviting me to go see a movie. I think Rory is coming too — of course, she probably has no idea. Wanna go?"

"No thanks," Benny answers right away. Sarah sighs.

"It might help you get your mind off things," she prompts. Benny thinks it over, and nods, defeated.

"You know what, sure," Benny says hesitantly. "It's not like a movie can kill me or anything."

"Awesome!" Sarah chirps, standing up. "We should probably get going. Do you want me to speed you there, or would you rather take the bus?"

Benny gulps and manages a fake grin. "Bus would be great, thanks."

As they walk out of Lotta Latte, Sarah grabs Benny's shoulder and turns him around. He frowns, and she looks at him with a small smile.

"Ethan would never leave you," she whispers. "You are everything to him."

Dumbfounded for the umpteenth time in the last 24 hours, Sarah grabs his wrist and speeds off without warning, dragging Benny behind her.

* * *

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _26/12/16; 7:08 PM_

 _sorry i missed the call and haven't replied for a while. sarah non-consensually sped me to the movies with erica and rory. i think the theatre is showing an exclusive re-run of dr. strange; it's probably going to be just as good as you said it would be, and i'll be teasing erica the entire time for being a nerd._

…

"Was that movie awesome or what?" Rory exclaims as they go inside Erica's car after exiting the theatre. "I mean, when Dr. Strange was all like 'oh, I'm gonna make a bargain with you a lot of times' to that cool dead thing in the mirror dimension—"

"Dark dimension," Erica corrects him.

They all look at her, and she shrugs, saying, "What? I paid attention."

"Defensive are we?" Benny asks smugly.

Erica rolls her eyes. "Get in the car before I decide to run you over with it."

Benny laughs and takes the front seat. Erica takes the driver's seat, and Rory and Sarah go in the back. Erica starts up the engine and backs out of the parking spot and onto the road.

Soft music plays in the background as Rory sighs.

"Too bad Ethan couldn't join us, you know." Sarah's eyes widen and she could see Benny stiffen in the rear view mirror.

"Rory," she says warningly, but is cut off by Erica.

"Where is the dork anyway?" she asks, ignoring Benny's sudden silence.

"Erica!" Sarah hisses. Benny looks at Sarah through the mirror and shakes his head.

"He's in America," he mutters. "Went to some Harvard thing."

"Harvard?" Erica echoes. She smiles, eyes still on the road. "So he really did make it into Harvard. Remind me to congratulate the dork — that's a pretty good deal."

"Yeah, he's probably leaving after senior year ends," Benny finally snaps.

The car is suddenly quiet, and Erica taps the edge of the wheel awkwardly. Rory presses his thumbs together, looking down, and Benny cross his arms.

"Benny, you don't know that," Sarah says quietly.

"Be honest, he'll probably go," Benny scoffs. "It's _Harvard._ If Ethan doesn't go, then he isn't the Ethan I know."

"I think you're being ridiculous," Erica mutters. "If you didn't want him to go, you would either go with him, or give him a big enough reason to—"

"Erica stop the fucking car!" Sarah suddenly screams, and then—

* * *

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _26/12/16; 9:27 PM_

 _Haha! Make sure u tell me all your opinions on the movie when you get the chance. By the way, we are in the hotel now! We got here at around 12, but as soon as we got onto the campus, they started the tour straight away. Turns out I was wrong about the accommodation :P_

 _..._

They say that everything speeds up when you are about to die, but Benny wasn't having any of it. Everything around him slows down as soon as Erica slams her foot on the brakes.

Benny can hear everything over-lapping each other: a car horn that wasn't their's blaring in his ears, Sarah's curses, Erica's car screeching on the road, Rory's girlish scream, and his own heartbeat.

When he opens his eyes, he feels himself going forward. His breath gets stuck in his throat and—

"Well that was a close one," Erica murmurs after they recoil back, the car driving past them sticking the finger out their window. She backs up slowly, the red light seemingly taunting Benny's thoughts.

"Erica! This is literally the busiest intersection in Whitechapel! Why the hell didn't you stop?!" Sarah yells.

Erica raises a hand, as if dismissing all of Sarah's words. "I didn't see the light change, 'kay? I was too busy giving the spellmaster some life advice."

"You could've fucking killed us," Sarah argues.

"We can't die," Erica retorts.

Benny says nothing.

"That was fun!" Rory chirps in the backseat, clasping his hands together. "We should do it again!"

"Rory," Sarah moans.

"It was kind of like _Fast and Furious_ , you know?" Rory continues despite everyone's pleas for him to stop. "We were like 'vroom vroom!' and Erica was like Vin Diesel when she slammed the brakes! It was pretty badass if I do say so myself — I don't know who screamed like that though. That was loud."

"I'm glad someone appreciates being alive," Erica deadpans, glaring at Sarah through the rear-view mirror.

Rory's eyes light up and he faces Sarah, pointing to himself giddily and says, "She's talking about me! I'm the someone!"

"I'm never getting in a car with you again," Sarah grumbles, staring ahead and crossing her arms. "I didn't plan on almost getting ran over by someone on the day after Christmas."

"It's better than getting socked in the face at the mall," Erica points out sarcastically.

"Are you okay, B?" Rory suddenly asks, and then all eyes are on the spellmaster, who is still staring at the same spot on the road that Erica was in a few seconds ago. "You seem pretty shook."

As Rory laughs at his oh-so clever meme reference, Benny swallows the lump in his throat and nods.

"Yeah, I am a bit shook for someone who nearly died," Benny says, trying to make it funny and lighthearted, but failed. "You know, I might just walk home instead."

"Wait, what?" Erica says as Benny opens the door and slams it closed. He quickly walks past all the cars and gets on the sidewalk. Sarah rolls down the window.

"Benny, it's a thirty minute walk back home! It'd be much faster if you would come with us!" Sarah protests.

"Yeah, I'll even drive so Erica doesn't have to!" Rory yells.

Benny stares at the vampires incredulously.

"I'll walk," he says again. "Gotta burn that popcorn off somehow, you know."

* * *

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _26/12/16; 10:16 PM_

 _looks like the chances of harvard stealing you from whitechapel is pretty high now, huh? :P_

 _To Ethan:_

 _From Benny:_

 _26/12/16; 10:19 PM_

 _oh, and slap erica when you come home; she nearly killed us tonight._

…

 _28/12/16_

Benny sits in his empty house, the dialogue of some cartoon character barely audible to him. He's staring at the TV, but not directly at it; the bright colours were merely a blur in his sight.

Admittingly, the near-death experience two nights ago practically scarred him. He supposed that would do much to a person and was completely normal, but something about this was different.

He was in a lot of near-death experiences before: when he was knocked out by Gord, and whatever happened after that, was seemingly bad; or the Lucifractor incident, which was just as worse.

However, he tackled most of those incidents with Ethan.

His phone buzzes, and he picks it up when he sees who texted him.

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:02 PM_

 _Wait, what?! Are u ok?! Oh my god, why didn't I see this earlier?!_

Benny chuckles to himself and quietly texts him back.

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _28/12/16; 1:03 PM_

 _because you're too busy being a scholar to care about my wellbeing._

It was harsh, he knows. He didn't intend it to be, but he felt guilty once he sent it.

In attempts at making the situation seem a bit lighter, he adds, _"lol"._

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:05 PM_

 _Being a scholar will never change the fact that I care about u._

Benny smiles to himself — leave it to Ethan to take an offensive text and turn it into a heartfelt compliment. He lowers the volume on the TV before turning it off completely and focusing on his phone.

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _28/12/16; 1:07 PM_

 _aw, thanks bro._

Hesitantly, he adds, _"so how's harvard?"._ Ethan replies two minutes later.

 _To: Benny:_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:09 PM_

 _It's absolutely amazing! The campus is lovely, and the teachers, though they seem hardcore, r pretty cool as well. And remember tht girl I told u about? Well, her name is Bella, and we r gonna be studying the same stuff! I think we have the same professors for a majority of our subjects. She is v nice, and I can't wait for u to meet her — she likes the Knights of Ninjitsu franchise, so I think we'll get along quite well ^_^_

Benny's smile falters. Bella sounds like Ethan's dream come true; which doesn't seem to surprise Benny, as everything in Ethan's life seems to be perfect as it is.

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _28/12/16; 1:11 PM_

 _she sounds perfect for you._

The three dots on Benny's screen seem to be there for an eternity. Perhaps he finally offended Ethan, or maybe Ethan was talking with people worth his time.

Benny throws his phone on the table in frustration at the same time it decides to buzz back to life.

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:15 PM_

 _I guess. Anyway, what happened with u and Erica? U guys are ok...right?_

 _..._

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _28/12/16; 1:17 PM_

 _i was just exaggerating, lol. everyone's ok — erica almost drove into a red light and right into the front of a car with an angry driver. needless to say, i actually walked home._

 _..._

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:20 PM_

 _I don't know what shocks me the most: the fact that erica didn't kill the angry driver on the spot, or the fact that u actually walked._

Benny rolls his eyes and replies, _"very funny"_

After a few minutes, Ethan texts back. Benny's heart nearly stops when he reads it.

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:22 PM_

 _U really can't survive a week without me, huh? Lol :P_

Benny doesn't really know what to reply back. One minute without a response because five, and he finds himself stuck in a spiral of thoughts. It's not like the question bothered him, but more like the answer he thought of did.

Another text brings Benny back to life.

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _28/12/16; 1:26 PM_

 _U ok? Was it something I said?_

 _..._

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _28/12/16; 1:28 PM_

 _of course not. i have to go. talk to you soon._

Benny turns off his phone completely before Ethan could respond and, for extra measures, slides it across the coffee table and watches it fall to the ground.

* * *

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _31/12/16; 10:17 PM_

 _Happy New Year's Eve, B! Don't party too hard without me, k?_

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _31/12/16; 10:18_

 _Well, you can if you want to — new year, new you, after all :P_

...

 _31/12/16_

Benny barely leaves the house after that. However, on New Year's Eve, Sarah somehow convinces him to go to a house party at Erica's place. He doesn't really dress up for the occasion — jeans and a striped t-shirt is his idealized outfit for any day — but he hesitantly pockets his phone because _he has to make a call._

It's already an hour until midnight, however, when he realizes he still hasn't called Ethan.

He's sitting alone on Erica's couch, squeezed beside two drunk seniors making out. Rory was already on his way to getting wasted — he can tell because Rory nearly grinded him before setting his eyes on some other girl — and Erica and Sarah seem to be drinking with other people.

He was alone.

It was a weird thought, now that he thought of it, because he is usually never alone. Not including the vampires, he always had _someone_ to stand with. It was strange to think that after all these years, it might change.

" _New year, new you."_ The last text Ethan sent him rang in his head. After this year, it would be a big change. It was inevitable — all changes are — but Benny supposedly kept pushing it away.

A week without Ethan put a lot of things in perspective, and he desperately wanted to tell him that. He wanted to tell Ethan that he nearly died without him, and that all the thoughts they washed away _together_ were coming back.

He couldn't. He knew he couldn't — no one would be so selfish as to keep someone away from what they've always dreamed of.

It's a scary thought now. All these years he has kept Ethan to himself and, like Erica suggested, he hasn't given a big enough reason that would keep it the same. He figures now that he could never have thought of a better reason that would keep Ethan in Whitechapel because this was his dream since they were kids.

Benny was always never comfortable with change. Every New Year's Eve, they exchanged the same cheesy catchphrase "new year, new you". They kept it ironically, of course, but it always meant something to them. Benny could never really think of a sincere answer — "New year, new Knights of Ninjitsu game!" was his response almost every year — but he knew from the beginning that Ethan wanted something more. Something he couldn't give him, but a new year could.

He wanted to escape Whitechapel. He had ever since he met them. Of course, his dreams would eventually become more realistic; "New year, new rocket ship to Mars" turned to "New year, new sight to wake up to". Benny always took it for granted, but now he realized that he could never keep what he never wanted to change.

Discovering the supernatural was probably the breaking point for Ethan and sealed his fate forever. He didn't want this kind of life — it was something he barely tolerated — but Benny did.

Deep down, they would always be polar opposites, and Benny realized that now — _this new year —_ it would finally drive them apart.

Now Benny was crying, and the couple who was making out had seemingly disappeared to a more private surrounding. He hastily wipes his tears and grabs his phone.

Rory is hollering "five more minutes 'till 2017!" while hanging on some chandelier, and Benny decides to get off the couch and make his way to the balcony.

"Where are you going?" Sarah slurs, pulling Benny's arm and spinning him around. "It's almost 2017! If you can't find anyone to smooch at midnight, I'll volunteer as tribute."

She giggles like a schoolgirl — Benny can see why Ethan liked her — and he forces a smile.

"No thanks, drunkie," he says sarcastically, "I know who I am going to be with at midnight."

Sarah laughs at the joke — maybe she didn't get his sarcasm — and lets Benny leave. He goes to the balcony and locks the screen door behind him before anyone could go in, _and now he finds comfort in being alone._

2017 was going to be different. He realizes that, despite everything they try to do, he'll have to survive a week without Ethan. Then a year. Then a lifetime.

He realizes that he is too dependant on the simplicity of where he was now. No one likes change, no matter how positive it is, because it always means that they'll have to sacrifice something to make it ideal.

Benny stares at the town below him. This was the town that held the park they met in. They built their legacies here, and eventually they are going to leave them here.

Maybe, deep down, Benny knew he wasn't staying for his grandma. He wasn't staying for his friends. He was staying because he didn't want to change. If he left this town, he was afraid that things would be different.

But Ethan knew otherwise, didn't he? He knew that things would be different, but he wasn't afraid to accept it. He didn't have to make it into Harvard if it meant leaving this town. He was always going to leave — the question was if Benny was going to leave too.

Benny stares at the town they made together and sighs; he never did answer Ethan's question.

* * *

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _31/12/16; 11:57 PM_

 _no. i can't_

 _..._

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _31/12/16; 11:57 PM_

 _? ? ?_

 _..._

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _31/12/16; 11:58 PM_

 _the answer to your question. i can't. i never will._

 _..._

 _To: Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _31/12/16; 11:58 PM_

 _Benny, I'm coming home._

…

…

…

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _31/12/16; 11:59 PM_

 _no you're not. i am._

* * *

All he was supposed to see is fireworks, and all he was supposed to hear was cheering.

All he can see is his screen illuminating the night sky, and all he can hear was his heartbeat.

 _To_ : _Benny_

 _From: Ethan_

 _01/01/17; 12:00 AM_

 _Happy 2017! New year, new opportunities ;)_

 _..._

 _To: Ethan_

 _From: Benny_

 _01/01/17; 12:00 AM_

 _happy 2017, e. new year, new home._

* * *

 **A/N- Well, that was it! That was my last fic of 2016. What a year it has been, huh?**

 **This story was based off a personal experience and a personal realization. 2016 was filled with a lot of realizations, now that I think of it. It was a rough year. There was a big dip in the person I used to be and I realized that life isn't all about cheering "wassup" and "jokes!" and expecting success. You really do have to work for it, even if it means that no one will recognize it.**

 **2016 was a weird year for the world. Maybe that's what influenced my mood. They say surroundings does that.**

 **However, that wasn't the point of this story. The point of the story was to point out that there is a fundamental flaw in change. You can't expect change to be positive, no matter what people say. To get what you want, there are sacrifices you need to take — even for the smallest things.**

 **I am a person who never liked change. I never accepted that change had to come eventually, nor have I really done anything about it. People have told me countless times to change who I am and I really want to — these changes from a standpoint weren't necessarily bad, but they were difficult because I didn't know what to change. Maybe I don't need to. Maybe I do.**

 **Yeah, this was another big rant using my two favourite characters. Admittingly, my love for this dying fandom has wavered over the months. Though I always remind myself that these were my roots, and this universe was one I still needed to explore.**

 **Anyway, that's enough of that. Here's to a new year where resolutions aren't necessary, and changing something isn't a black or white situation. You should never be pressured to change anything — it's never a good change and it's never a bad change. There are in-betweens to be considered. Does any of this make sense? Wait until you see my next one shot (my fanfic buddy knows that one was a big bundle of late night nonsense — you know which one I am talking about ;D).**

 **I couldn't have made it through this year without each and every one of you (especially you, fanfic buddy — may the dance parties live on). If you were there with me since last new year, or if we just met a few seconds ago. You have made my life change and the change you have made is still making a difference every single day. I keep remembering that you guys are in my life, and it makes me smile every time.**

 **So thank you. Here's to the new year and new stories I have yet to reveal. Remember to keep on keeping on, okay? Okay.**

 **Sincerely,  
TiredOfBeingNice xx**


End file.
